Saturdays are for fairytales!
Ok, so not for everyone but for the wonderful people who get wedded. But it doesn’t mean you can’t help them live their fairytales especially brides who have looked forward to their wedding day for as long as they could.
I’ve had the opportunity to serve several brides but I’ve seen their rainbow-sunny day switch to a dark cloudy day by the ‘amazing’ things wedding guests say. Trust me, it’s not easy to bring a bride back to her beautiful reality and it would be nice if people knew just what not to say to avoid this.
Consequently, here are a few things you can avoid saying to any bride going forward.
“The groom isn’t here yet.”
Hello! Why? Do you know the heart attack that can cause to the bride or even the people nearby? He may just be running late or stuck in traffic somewhere or sorting out a lot of wedding chaos but no…you decide to tell a bride, “Where’s your husband? He’s not here yet o!” Wow!!! Please don’t…tell someone else who can call to validate his location or the situation.
“Hmmmm…Why isn’t your wedding dress white?”
Because she can decide to wear whatever she wants no matter what you may be playing in your head. ‘White symbolizes purity’, yes we know but is that what it really is for those who wear it? Stop playing things in your head, please. Wedding dresses are now awesome in ivory, blush and pink!
“Hurry up! People are waiting.”
Commonly said by the older guests like aunties and parents’ friends but please don’t be the timekeeper of an even that isn’t yours. It’s the couple’s day and if they want to spend the whole day celebrating it, let them. If you really care about them, you’d wait and stay to honour them.
“They haven’t served me.”
Ummm…excuse me, please did you come just for the food or for the wedding? It’s not fair to go to the bride say this. She is not the head usher or the event planner. She cannot stop being the bride to chase a server to get you food. Patience is a virtue and I’m sure you’d get it if you exercise it or inform the right person…not the bride!
“They said food (or whatever) has finished.”
Again, ummm…sorry sir/ma, but she didn’t plan for this amount of people or she doesn’t even know who are mother hired to be in charge of food. Don’t be offended and if you are, just don’t vent to the bride.
“There was no place to sit.”
It’s not her fault that a plus one brought his/her plus five. We love to party and attend parties but sadly we forget the implication on the actual guests of the event…unfortunately, the repercussions are on the celebrants. It’s no time to remind the bride of her inefficiencies in planning the wedding. Sincerely, left to her she won’t want the crowd but (Nigerian) parents are involved.
“I didn’t get any souvenir.”
It’s great to get souvenirs from weddings but it’s not compulsory. Many couples have even abandoned that task to family and friends who want to; couples don’t even know other times. So, telling a bride this won’t make a difference other than making her aware of the shortcomings of her wedding. Please ask who you saw sharing them.
“Why aren’t you smiling?”
Because you just appeared from nowhere to ask that question. It’s hard enough to be standing and dancing in those heels without cringing at the many sore sights of things going wrong. She may just be taking a break from forcing a smile but it doesn’t mean she isn’t happy to be married.
“In 9 months, we will come for naming ceremony.”
What? Please slow down. It’s really not up to you to. The couple will decide when they want to start having children. You can simply pray for a fruitful union not give a timeline.
“I thought you said you lost weight.”
This one baffles me. Ok, so she doesn’t look like she did lose weight. But why tell her on the day that she’s meant to be as happy as can be with everything including how she looks? Sorry to disappoint you but the owner of the body isn’t complaining. Please look for something to compliment – it will make a huge difference.
“Your mum and mother in-law are arguing.”
On a normal day, this is not good news. Now, imagine this on your wedding day. Can you imagine how depressing this can be? Please don’t be a bearer of bad news.
“You are a wife now; the fun is over.”
Who said so? And, where is that rule written? Everyone can have the fun they want as they please. Marriage just makes you more responsible because you are now a role model to your children – now fun becomes grown-up parties, tourism, gala events and the likes.
“Your parents are changing things.”
You have no idea how much the bride wanted things to go her way and of course, they didn’t because she has to honour her parents. That day is not the day to remind her of the fact that once again, she failed in making it her day by seeing the little that she had a say over be overridden by her parents’ actions.
“You didn’t invite me to your wedding. I just heard about it from…”
Oh, great! You made it! But, please no. There’s no way she could reach everyone in what little or great time she must have had to prepare. So, don’t voice her offence there and then. What if she really didn’t want you to come? You can’t get angry, it’s her wedding.
“Are you ready for marriage?”
Yes! That’s what the day is for…for her to be married. Very few are forced to get married nowadays and maybe they aren’t ready for that marriage. Marriage isn’t a journey everyone is totally ready for but if they fixed a date for it, they sure want to be married. Kindly avoid fueling second thoughts in the bride’s head.
I know there are many more and it will be great to hear more from brides who are now wives or mothers. Please share what you heard that nearly or totally tipped you off on your wedding day.
To the many wedding guests, please be the Wedding Guest of the Year by saying none of these! Will make a list of things you can say that will warm brides’ hearts soon…contributions are highly welcome.
ABOUT THE WRITER
Grace Samuel loves brides so much; she made a career out of helping them out on their special day.
Her heart for service led her to found The Bride Assistant, a professional service for supporting brides before and on the one day that marks the beginning of their forever journey.
You can contact and follow her on Instagram – @thebridesassistant.ng.