My friend recently invited me to the launch of a new makeup line in Lekki.
Surprisingly I wasn’t too keen on going. Me before would jump at the opportunity to get away from the Mainland & go to the Island. But I just wasn’t feeling this event, maybe because I knew the kind of audience the event would attract. Brazilian wearing, Gucci wearing, eyelash wearing iPhone 7 babes. The kind of girls who spend daddy or sugar daddy’s money. I went anyway to honour my friend’s invitation & since I had nothing doing that afternoon.
Lo & behold my guesses were right. The event was filled with IJGB kids. Honestly I think my IJGB juice has expired and I’ve adapted or nearly 100% adapted to the Nigerian system. When I first got to Lagos I longed to hear a British accent, something I could relate with, but now I’m like whatever, the stress & drama to ‘belong’ isn’t worth it.
Anyway, so at the event my friend introduced me to another girl who was there. My friend had already given me the heads up that this babe she was going to introduce me to, likes to famz with anything foreign. We greeted & she asked me where I stayed on the Island, I told her I actually stay on the Mainland and she replied with Oh’ with disgust on her face.
After the event, my friend called her over & this is where Africa Magic began to happen. One thing led to another & my friend mentioned that I just relocated from the UK. The expression on her face changed she moved close to me &enthusiastically she asked when I moved back & where I stayed in the UK.
I just noticed that her accent began to change from a thick Igbo accent to one of these accents we hear them blowing on the radio station. Intrigued I Indulged her, I didn’t tell her I was born & bred In the Uk, in fact I only told her that I just studied there for a few years. I had given her ammunition to scatter the atmosphere.
I gave her centre stage and allowed her do all the talking. She began to say the most nonsense like ‘DO I know where Peckham is in West London’ I said no I’ve never heard of Peckham before. She said ok what of Thamesmead in East London, I replied with Yeah Thamesmead in East London. (Peckham & Thamesmead are in South London) She took my number (of course it was a fake number I gave her) & said we should hang out sometime.
I asked my friend where she met her. Apparently the girl has only travelled out once which was last December & it was to Dubai but she likes to ‘belong’ with anything from the abroad.
I think my IJGB fever has expired. Before I used to cringe about living on the Mainland, every opportunity to be on the Island I would take it. But guess what, I have discovered that the most fun I have had in Nigeria has been on the Mainland.
Being in Nigeria has been a beautiful learning curve for me and taught me a lot about myself, culture, people in general and also the value of money & life. For that, I am very grateful. I have developed a hustler’s mentality over the past few months which I very much needed. I was not streetwise enough growing up in the UK, everything was handed to me on a platter of Gold within easy reach. Nowadays I don’t want anyone knowing I’m from the abroad, I’m just living jejely & I have finally gone to Mile 12 market. In fact I’m making my way there now to get a big juicy chicken!