A few days ago my Mother in law said to me ‘Now that you’re married to our son you don’t call anymore’
What a wawuuu…. The first thing that came to mind when I heard that statement was Drake’s Hotline Bling song.
Before I moved to Nigeria, I would call my MIL twice a week because I never used to see her. Now I’m in Nigeria and I see her at least twice a week, I admit my phone calls have reduced drastically, but that’s only because my seeing her in flesh compensates for the missed phone calls.
I noticed that over the past few weeks she had been hinting that I don’t call her, I would respond by telling her I will call and its better that we see in person than calling because of network issues that would hinder the conversation. All what I was saying to her was going in one ear and out the other.
You know that Yoruba culture places the highest emphasis on respect. She dint want to her all the English I was saying, all she wanted was our regular phone calls going back to normal.
How often do you call your mother-in-law? I love her, she is a wonderful person. We get along. As a daughter-in-law, should I be required to call her more than once a week for a chat?
In a Yoruba cultural setting – YES, it can be termed as important – especially if you’re living in a cultural family! Yoruba parents feel secure when their kids remember them. A call from their son/daughter/son-in-law/daughter-in-law can make their day!
Your concern can make them feel much loved! It doesn’t cost money or gifts. Well in my situation it costs money o, because Airtel call charges are ridiculous.
Most elderly people just want someone to talk with. If not every day, at least once or twice in a week, even if it’s just to say Hello, how was your day ma.
It also depends on the relationship you share with your mother in law so I cannot generalize things. However to me o, not calling everyday doesn’t mean there is no love.
I have now put a reminder on my phone, every Monday morning & Friday evening will be for calling my MIL
Just remember the two B word’s Balance & Boundaries.
ABOUT BUKOLA – TNBO
Bukola Jayeoba Aka TNBO is a storyteller and content creator who moved from London to Lagos. she is the owner of The Naija Brides Outlet. Faced with so many challenges, and contrary to popular belief, she was on a quest to prove you can have a fantastic wedding in Nigeria without breaking the bank.
It proved difficult, but by the end of the journey she was able to succeed. TNBO’s pens her experience during wedding planning, post wedding & relocating period.
Follow her on Instagram on @thenaijabridesoutlet and visit www.thenaijabridesoutlet.com for more exciting stories.