Olaide has always dreamed of babies. She loves children to the extent that she serves at the children department in her church so she was over the moon when Mike, her boyfriend of six years asked her to marry him. Not only will she be with the love of her life, she also gets to be a momma! How exciting!
The first thing they spoke about after the engagement was how many children they would have and when they would start having them. Mike believed they wait six months after wedding to start trying, but Olaide was having none of that.
They finally agreed on starting a family immediately and so the wedding planning began. Six months later, Olaide and Mike had their dream wedding and moved to their new apartment.
When the first month passed without her being pregnant, Olaide attributed it to the stress of wedding planning. However, months 2,3,4,5 went by and as month 6 approached she had become a wreck, worried sick and confused. People around didn’t help either as they were always asking when the baby was coming.
All these began to take a toll on Olaide and her marriage and she began to nag and (sometimes) misbehave towards Mike who told her to relax because their babies were coming. She found it difficult to be the homemaker as she was always on the edge about when she would get pregnant and at the slightest provocation she would snap at her husband. Her marriage began to suffer!
Many young wives are like Olaide. The pressure to become parents immediately is all around us and we let that interfere with our first assignment as wives-caring for our husbands/homes. Are you worried sick about conception and childbirth? Are you scared and ask yourself daily ‘what if it never happens?’
Do you get depressed all over again when you see your friends rocking their baby bumps or even babies in their photoshoots? If yes, the tips below are for you:
Yes, this sounds very cliché. Everyone tells you ‘Relax it will happen’ even those who conceived on their wedding night…lol.
However, it is really the truth, you need to learn to relax (It can be VERY HARD) but its only right that you make yourself happy and that means skipping unnecessary worries and fears while you enjoy the husband of your youth.
Invest in materials that promote positive thinking, you can have them as sticky notes on your computers, by your bedside and everywhere you can see them so that when you begin to feel worried, you can easily refer to them to keep you calm.
He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD. (Psalm 113: 9)
You shall be blessed above all peoples; there will be no male or female barren among you or among your cattle. (Deuteronomy 7:14)
Yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God. (Romans 4:20)
These bible verses (and more) have said it all! Need we say more? We all know that God can always be held to His words, because none returns to Him void. And when he said none shall be barren in the land, HE means it.
The waiting period is the time to trust Him the most because He will make everything beautiful in His own time. This is the time to consciously cultivate the art of praises and thanksgiving without wavering in faith. There are days when you feel the entire world crashing and you begin to fall out of faith. Hey, its okay, all you need to do is get back up and put the devil to shame.
Never desert your husband:
In the quest to having children, some forget their husbands. Whether you like it or not, your husband is your number one baby so NEVER neglect his needs.
There may be some tension in the house because it may seem that your husband is not as concerned as you are because you don’t see him crying or moping around. That’s not true, they are just as concerned as you are and even more in some cases.
Whatever you are doing, carry him along, let him understand your fears and worries so you can work on them together. As the Bible says, ‘Can two walk together except they agree?’ You need to agree with him and not fight every other day or see making love as a chore to conceive.
Enjoy your husband while you still have him to yourself because that may change when the babies start coming.
Go for check-ups:
Medically an issue of infertility can’t be established unless a couple has been actively trying for about one year( depending on the age). So, if you have and you are no longer comfortable with the situation, please go for fertility analysis for yourself and your partner.
And if after the check-up, you discover either of you have issues, it is not the time to start trading blames, but a time to work and pray together while taking the required medication. Have it at the back of your mind that no matter what happens or how long the treatment takes, you have each other’s backs.
Focus on other things:
Don’t spend every day wallowing in ‘why mes’ and self-pity. Go out there and focus on other productive activities. Do what you enjoy the most and (make money out of it if possible, you need cash to take care of the little ones when they arrive…lol). Many people have said that conception happened when they were not too particular it.
This is not saying you should ignore your routine drugs/exercises/conception aiding activities. You should do all you have been advised to do by the doctor but NEVER make the Doctor/Drugs your hope, rather trust in God the giver of all good things.
Is there anyone that has gone through this and now has a child? We would like to know what you did, please share with us I the comments section.